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Feeld dating app appeals to throuples, or anyone interested in anything remotely unconventional dating-wise.
If you’re not on any dating apps, you probably don’t need to worry about them or what others think. However, I’ve been hearing so much buzz about Feeld that I can’t ignore it.
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People often refer to Feeld as the “throuples” app because of how it started. A tech couple, Dimo Trifonov and Ana Kirova, who were considering opening their relationship, came up with the idea for an app they initially wanted to call *3nder*. But Feeld isn’t just for throuples—it’s for any type of unconventional dating, from ethical non-monogamy to casual, one-time hookups.
The app is run from Cumbria, but most of its users and income come from abroad, with revenues nearly doubling in the past year to close to £40 million. Feeld says it’s on a mission to “elevate the human experience of sexuality and relationships.” While I might not be in a position to have opinions about this, I have to admit, it’s a relief. Dating apps, for a while, were sounding pretty bleak.
Traditional dating apps like Bumble, Tinder, and Match have been described using terms like “bear pit,” “wild west,” and “Hobbesian hellscape.” The dating world seemed harsh. One minute you could be love-bombed, and the next, ghosted. The lack of any social structure—no mutual friends or real connections—meant you could face rejection repeatedly without understanding why.
Meanwhile, something curious happened: young people started having less sex. In the UK in 2020, a quarter of people aged 18 to 24 reported not having had sex in the past year. Initially, people blamed Netflix for this drop. Then, Covid became the excuse. When, in 2021, a study revealed that nearly 40% of young Californians aged 18 to 30 had been celibate for a year, fingers pointed to dating apps as the culprit.
Scott Galloway, a professor and author, offered a theory about this. He suggested women typically pick partners based on three criteria: future financial stability, intelligence, and kindness. Online dating, he argued, messes with these dynamics because it’s hard to judge intelligence or kindness from a dating profile. This leaves people focusing on visible resources, which tend to gravitate towards the same small group of men. According to Galloway, in a room of 50 men and 50 women, about 45 of the women will focus on just five men, leaving the other 45 men to compete for the attention of the remaining five women.
This, he said, has led to a “two-tier” system—some men who struggle to get attention, while others are in high demand. Galloway called it “Porsche polygamy,” meaning that men with visible wealth, like a Porsche, can have their pick of partners. When I first heard this, I thought he was referencing Portia from *The Merchant of Venice*, a character overwhelmed by choices. But he was simply talking about the attraction of wealth and status.
I never fully bought into this theory. It feels like a convenient narrative where women are portrayed as always seeking security—financial or emotional—while men are out having fun and need to be “tamed” or corralled into relationships. It reflects a fragile kind of masculinity that struggles with the idea of women having their own desires and chaos, much less being on equal footing.
Still, I couldn’t help but notice that the world of dating apps seemed to be reviving outdated gender roles. Men were expected to look wealthy; women, perfectly polished. Men were assumed to be looking for sex, while women were seen as hunting for marriage. This cultural shift has reached its peak with the rise of the “tradwife” on Instagram—a nostalgic return to the 1950s housewife.
Feeld, however, offers an escape from these rigid roles. It’s not necessarily challenging traditional gender dynamics head-on but simply operates in a space where those roles are irrelevant. If someone on Feeld is playing the “demure, mindful” role, it’s probably part of a kink. And while it might be a threat to the traditional nuclear family, that’s just part of its appeal.
[Via]
